<< $$$ SWIMMERS File $$$ >>

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<< $$$ SWIMMERS File $$$ >>

Postby Seaanie » Sun Mar 21, 2004 10:08 pm

The Swimmers File
This is where you can report the latest swimmers and there shitty excuses.
Please give:
Name of Swimmer:
Shitty excuse:
Emotional Issues arising from the event:
Persons requiring rescue pints:

Just Paste this into your message.

Code: Select all

 Just  Paste this into your message
[b]Name of Swimmer:[/b]
[b]Shitty excuse:[/b]
[b]Emotional Issues arising from the event:[/b]
[b]Persons requiring rescue pints:[/b]

Last edited by Seaanie on Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:35 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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Postby lorna » Mon Mar 22, 2004 4:03 pm

why dont ya start with urself?then fill in the rest bout the other swimmers ya encountered in the last whileen?
wel say ur excuse was back pain k :wink:
<div>Quit your jibber jabber, If you dont stop actin like a damn fool, you is going to meet my friend "PAIN"!!</div>

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Postby Seaanie » Mon Mar 22, 2004 4:23 pm

Ok here you go

Name of Swimmer: ME Seanie
Date: Last weekend 19mar
Location: Clare Glens, Constriction
Shitty excuse: I ended up at the drop before it upside down and Rolled then I went through the constriction and capsized again. I handent taken apuff of my Inhaler so I was short of breath so i poped my deck.
Real reason for swim: Big wuss
Likelihood of it happening again: Highly likely, I find it adds some spice/ excitement to a river trip.

Now you fill one out for JOB and Shane, or maybe youll need some time they swam quite alot that day.

Also I hear Richie or captain took a swim over the weekend! Details anyone?

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Postby Jo » Tue Mar 23, 2004 9:49 am

Name of Swimmer: Jo
Date: Last Sunday, 21mar
Location: Clare Glens, where ever I felt like it! Shitty excuse: somebody had one of thoses phyco dolls on the river bank (the ones that when you put a pin in the doll the person feels it in real life), and they kept turning it upside down and puttin twigs up its nose at the wrong times!
Real reason for swim: bad karma, I bought a choclate cake in the market for Richie and it tasted so good I ate it before he arrived at my house,I told him I met JOB uptown and he stole it off me cus hes an addict and now Richie hates JOB!
Likelihood of it happening again: unlikely, cus I kept bangin my head off rocks! and I felt really sick after all the cake

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Postby Seaanie » Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:18 pm

I hear richie swam deatils,....come on jo dish the dirt?

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Postby Seaanie » Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:33 pm

Name of swimmer:JOB
Location: Clare glens 19 march
shitty excuse:after the constriction,couldnt roll and then stuck in the 1st hole before big eass
Real excuse:wanted to make shane feel better for swimming 3 times
Likelihood of it happening again:pretty likely,shane is really into his swimmin these days

Name of Swimmer: Shane
Date: 19 march
Location: constriction, before big eass and somewhere in the middle of the clare glens
Shitty excuse: got stuck in 2 holes and the big gun was a naughty naughty boat that deserved the nasty death it got
Real reason for swim: was compensating for the fact that Lorna didnt swim at all, and that whole "i never swim" attitude came back to bite him on the ass, was just a pity that the big gun had to suffer
Likelihood of it happening again: quite likely-seems the glens and shane have unfinished business

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Postby Seaanie » Wed Mar 31, 2004 4:51 pm

There are several different types of swim, caused by different events:

'Gay' Swim: This is the non-PC term for an unnecessary swim, for example, if Corran Addison capsized in flatwater and pulled his deck instead of getting t-rescued...

Beating: This normally happens before the actual swim, and involves boat and paddler being thrashed mercilessly in one or more river features. Also referred to as getting 'worked'. When someone takes a properly enormous beating, lasting in duration a really long time and involving materialrisk to life and limb, it might be referred to as a 'rapage'. This is even less PC than a 'gay' swim. Half-drowning would probably fall into the latter category.

Pin: When the boat and paddler get jammed against a rock by the force of the river. This has two flavours, horizontal and vertical. The latter normally occurs on bigger rapids and you don't want to go there. But if you do, it'll make a good pub tale.

Backloop: this is when you fail to clear a feature, and often preceeds a beating. Kind of like a very fast, out of control 180 degree vertical transition... onto your back.

Flat landing: When running a high waterfall - this is what it sounds like and is particularly nasty. Might or might not cause a swim, depending on whether you break your spine or get a compression fracture or break your nose on the deck.

(taken from eusu.ed.ac.uk/clubs/canoe/ )

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Underwater Drone

Postby Flunkey » Mon Apr 05, 2004 9:11 pm

Name of Swimmer: The Drone ( aka Rich )
Date: 21/3/04
Location: the Glens. Double ass bottom corner river left
Shitty excuse: Felt like climbing.
Real reason for swim: GAY / PIN (see previous)
Likelihood of it happening again: Good. Liklelihood of it being reported here again slim.

No one else from the college was looking bar a very loyal Jo it seems so I feel it my duty to mere mortals to log on and report such a rearly seen event.
This site was allmost as good as the run that finished with multiple power flips on Hawaii sur Rhone.
This was so good that Seanie thinking he had washed after power flip number 1 turned off the vid only to discover rich re appear out of the large foam pile for a lot more. All was not lost though as Seanie had plenty of time to turn back on the vid and record a few more of them.

Comment of the trip made by Seanie while bringing Rich to A+E in Lyon with suspected broken foot.
" Rich all you do is moan, moan, moan. What about us we've got sunburn"

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Postby rasher » Tue Apr 06, 2004 10:25 am

Name of Swimmer: Mike barry
Date: summer 02
Location: the bish weir
Shitty excuse: was too warm
Real reason for swim: ridiculous panicing in 1/2 a foot of water
Likelihood of it happening again: Good. them feet arent gettin any smaller

the weir was "tanking" and mike was feelin brave. in he went and got pinned sideways. his face went so red the water around him started to evaporate. mad funny and the excuses were just as good

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Postby Moss » Tue Apr 06, 2004 6:42 pm

Name of Swimmer: James Davey
Date:Summer 03
Location:Washinmachine Augsburg Germany.
Shitty Excuse: The hole popped my deck.
Real Reason: Fetish for washing machines,wanted to get naked wit da hole.
Happening again:Not very,as he wont be back to germany 2 soon.

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Postby jimi » Thu Apr 08, 2004 1:05 pm

Ahhh that was summer 2002 and im pretty sure that mike's incident was summer 01
aigghhhhh trutttthhhhh!!!!!!!

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Postby Grassey » Thu May 06, 2004 2:49 pm

Since its been a while lets fill in 1of these

Name of Swimmer: Eoin Hurst
Date: 5th may
Location: the bish weir
Shitty excuse: i got flipped and then was sculling for ages in it until my deck popped, man there is a serious tow back in there
Real reason for swim: he got flipped let go of the paddles and pulled away
Likelihood of it happening again: pretty good although it may have been just a fluke accident after his near swim on the shit shute earlier in the day
Image Image

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Postby EoinH » Fri May 07, 2004 11:47 am

Lies all lies. I havent swam in well over a year and its gonna stay that way! 8)

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Postby Shane » Mon May 10, 2004 6:40 pm

Oh you don't know it yet but it's coming for YOU!